The balance between action and allowing

Because there’s only so much you can control

Paula Hines

May 21, 2025

trust spelled with wooden letter blocks on a table — Photo by Ronda Dorsey on Unsplash

“Man plans and God alters.” -

Another regular saying of my mother’s that used to annoy me.

Are you a control freak?

I spent years thinking that perfect planning would protect me.

When I think back, all of the times when I tried to force a situation or push for a particular thing, while it may have seemed that I got the outcome I wanted at first, ultimately - and without exception - those things went pear-shaped in some way.

It clearly took me several occasions to learn that lesson.

It’s not about putting in no effort, it’s more about doing what you can then stepping back to allow. That, I find, requires patience, faith and trust.

It’s taken a long time to trust that what’s meant for me will not miss me and that what’s meant to be will be, while also knowing that I did what I could along the way.

Related to this, I’ve felt so much sadness over past rejections and for what I thought were missed opportunities only to discover years later that the rejection had protected me, or the missed opportunity that I’d convinced myself I was perfect for sent me down a different, better path.

Also, some things do come back around at a later date and you then realise that what had seemed like a “no” was in fact a “not yet”.

Trust.

Sometimes, as much as we want to be in control in order to have things go our way, in truth, control is an illusion. And when things do work out this is usually down to someone or something else in collaboration with us.

There comes a point where we need certain things to conspire in our favour.

No-one is truly self-made.

None of us really succeed alone.

Over to you:

What does being in control mean to you?
How does the idea of not being in control make you feel?
What does the process of allowing look like for you?

UPCOMING OPPORTUNITIES TO PRACTICE YOGA WITH ME:

In-Person:

Hatha Flow, Wednesdays 9.30-10.30am at Yoga Point, Brixton. Book here.

Wake-Up Hatha Flow, Thursdays 9.30-10.30am at MIND Yoga & Pilates, Forest Hill. Book here.

Rest + Restore, Saturday 14 June 3.30-5pm at Embody Wellness, Vauxhall. Find full details and book here.

Online:

Not able to join me in-person? There’s now two years’ worth of yoga and meditation practices from me here on Substack in A Peaceful Pause and The Reset, like this De-Stress Stretch practice: