Reclaiming my time
The necessity of being in community and honouring yourself
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Nourished.
A balm.
Safe.
Seen.
Understood.
Accepted.
Seeing myself reflected.
Confronted by the expectations and limitations I put on myself.
Healing.
For four consecutive Sundays during September I put aside my usual routine to spend ninety minutes online with nine other Black UK women in a space offered by psychotherapist, Dawn Estefan.
Being in community with Black women gives me something like nothing else. We’re all different, but there’s a shared understanding in what it means to move through the world as Black and female.
I don’t need to explain it.
We don’t need to explain it.
It’s a relief to not need to explain when much of your life has involved being the only or one of a few.
When I saw that Dawn would be offering the “I Am” Sunday Healing Series – a pilot 4 week therapeutic Black Women’s Group – during September, I instantly knew this was something I needed. I had wanted something like this and then, as if by magic, here it was. But… I still wavered.
Was I allowed? (Whose permission was I waiting for??)
Could I afford it?
I decided I couldn’t afford not to.
Though this was not a therapy group, Dawn did use psychoanalytic principles as a guide for our exploration and in facilitating our closed group over the four weeks. Four weeks of laughing, crying, sharing, holding, being held, realisations, insights and so much more that I feel incapable of putting into words.
Even though I hadn’t known fully what to expect, I’d felt I would learn things about myself that I needed to. I was right. It was such a privilege to be in this space with every single one of the women present. And I was reminded that – to quote Nova Reid – “Black women are divine.”
I’m so incredibly grateful to Dawn for this offering. This was the first I Am group and I truly hope there will be more. Spaces like this are important and needed.
For me it was the in the days between the sessions where a lot of what came up was able to settle in me. Truth be told, it’s still metabolising. And that’s okay. There is time.
I will give myself time.
✨💜🙌🏾